People often ask me how best to express their thanks to Victoria Hospice for all of its valuable services. I can only respond by speaking from my own family’s experience. Collette received the gift of a peaceful and pain-controlled death. This was a family gift as well. Our grandchildren received the gift of a compassionate and truthful explanation of their grandmother’s death. I received the gift of the Walking Group Program. Within a short time, I was in the company of folks who understood my loss, held me when I cried, asked no questions, and gave no advice.

The best way to thank Hospice is to let people in your community know about Hospice Palliative Care and the vital assistance that it provides to those in need. The best way to speak about Hospice services is to recount your own experience. You might also invite bereaved friends to take advantage of Hospice programs and services. Despite the fact that Victoria Hospice has served its community for twenty five years, many people still do not know how Hospice can be of assistance.
Since cancer is a major cause of death, many people assume that Hospice support exists, primarily, for cancer patients and their families. Sharing other experiences can address and, hopefully, correct this misapprehension. Many people in our culture experience great difficulty talking about the illness and pending death of a loved one.

Describing your personal experience with Hospice is often the best way to sow seeds of conversation about loss.

We must become advocates for Hospice Palliative Care, its philosophy, and its services. We must convince people that Hospice is not a place where people are left to die but a place where people are embraced with love, caring, and the expertise to help them live out their lives free of pain, in dignity, and at peace. It is unconscionable that anyone should be denied access to the gifts that Hospice care can offer.

Any Hospice program has many needs; the most evident is money. While the medical expenses of Hospice care are covered under the Canada Health Act, the community is responsible for providing funds for other Hospice ser- vices such as bereavement and spiritual care.

In addition to money, many of us have time to donate to our community. We have life experiences that we can pass along when the time is right. We have patience. Becoming a volunteer opens up wonderful opportunities to make new friendships, and we all know how important that opportunity is to someone who has lost a loved one. Most of all, we can share our personal stories about the gift of the incredible support that have we have received from Hospice. My friend, Bill’s, is such a story.

When my wife was nearing the end of her life, in fact, just two days before her death, she was put on the Victoria Hospice Program. At that time, there were over one hundred and fifty people on the waiting list, and the Palliative Response Team was still a pilot project.

On the night my wife died, I called Victoria Hospice and within minutes, Lori James was at my house to help me through the crisis. I have heard the expression Angel of Mercy before, and I really think it applies to this young lady. Lori sat and talked for a good part of the night when I desperately needed someone to be with me. I will be thankful to her and to Victoria Hospice for the rest of my life.

Six months after the death of my wife, I made my first visit to the Bereavement Self-Help Social Group. It was great to be able to talk to people who had been through the same ordeal that I had faced. I still attend some of the gatherings of this group. The social group, as one of its projects to help fund Victoria Hospice, ran casino nights. I enjoyed helping out at this activity. Celebrate-A-Life has become an important part of my life, and I continue to volunteer each December.

After attending the Saturday Night Social Group for a few years, I met a wonderful lady who was also a member of this group. We became friends and were married recently. We can talk about our spouses and the life we shared with them. It is just great to be able to share our former lives and respect the memories of our loved ones.

I like to equate Victoria Hospice and the care that we both received to an insurance policy; when we don’t need Hospice, we have to support its programs, so that they will be there when we find ourselves in need. Victoria Hospice offers tremendous services to our community. It helps ease the burden of pain for the ill and the grief of those left behind. I hope you will never need to access Victoria Hospice services, but if you do support them now, those services will be there for you if needed.

Those of us who have depended on Hospice care are forever grateful for the wonder of its support. By the same token, bereaved people, over time, have support needs that must come from other sources as well. Hospice care is a bridge; there needs to be something on the other side of that bridge into the unknown.

There are many skilled professionals who offer services to the bereaved. However, it would be too easy for grief work and grief counseling to be perceived as, or to develop into, an industry through which bereaved people seek solace and support only from the outside. We need to look for longer term solutions, ones that work from the inside out.